Five Free Tips to Get Heard.
Five Tips to Get Heard.
Sometimes we find it hard to ask things of others; a simple request suddenly sticks in the throat.
How do you make a requests?
➢ Do you make excuses?
➢ Are you bossing the other person around?
➢ Do you abstain and keep quiet?
Do not undermine yourself or orthers
➢ When you ‘beat around the bush’, you are not heard and don´t reach your goal
➢ By being bossy, you disrespect the other person.
You are an important person. Other people are important persons.
Ask for want you need – and cope with a ‘no’.
You have the right to ask, and the other has the right to say yes or no.
Here are your five free tips on asking for what you want.
- Do your homework. What do you want – exactly?
Do not say: “You are so sweet, can you help me a little in the morning, I’m very busy, I have to write a report, and have three questions and I have a birthday party at 16, right?” – What are you asking for? Help for a children’s birthday?
Be specific: “Would you be so kind as to help me tomorrow? Do you want to write the minutes of the project group? It takes me usually half an hour.” - Don’t beat around the bush. Quickly get to the point.
** “Uh, I’m very sorry, but I hope I’m not disturbing, but could you take the meeting on Friday? “ There is nothing to apologize for.
Say instead: “I’m meeting with the team on Friday. But I am prevented. Could you please take the meeting for me?” - Others cannot read your thoughts. Communicate clearly. Drop sarcasm. It annoys people, and it blurs your request.
Replace “I thought pretty much that it’s obvious that I need help? You do have eyes in your head, right? ”
-with: “I need help. Could I ask you help me with the evaluation here, please?” - Say goodbye to the passive role.
Stop the negative thoughts about yourself: “If I ask, they will believe that I am worthless.” “No one will help me, I have to do everything on my own.” You are important as a person; take responsibility for your needs. As a valuable person You have the right to have wants and to come forward with them. And as an important valuable person in your own right, you can cope with a no, should that be the answer. - You are much more than your wish for help.
A no to your request is not a no to you as a person.
Choose to be open, direct and give a choice to say yes or no:
“I would like your input on this, is that OK with you?”
“If you do not mind, I would like to trade places with you. Ok? ”
Separate your self from your request. This helps: it gives the other person a choice of how to answer you.
If you get a yes, you can be happy. And if you get a no, then you can still be happy, because you overcame your fear of asking for what you want. Well done!