Five Free Tips to Get Heard.

Five Tips to Get Heard.

Sometimes we find it hard to ask things of others; a simple request suddenly sticks in the throat.

How do you make a requests?
➢ Do you make excuses?
➢ Are you bossing the other person around?
➢ Do you abstain and keep quiet?

Do not  undermine yourself or orthers
➢ When you ‘beat around the bush’, you are not heard and don´t reach your goal
➢ By being bossy, you disrespect the other person.
You are an important person. Other people are important persons.

Ask for want you need – and cope with a ‘no’.
You have the right to ask, and the other has the right to say yes or no.

Here are your five free tips on asking for what you want.

  1. Do your homework. What do you want – exactly?
    Do not say: “You are so sweet, can you help me a little in the morning, I’m very busy, I have to write a report, and have three questions and I have a birthday party at 16, right?” – What are you asking for? Help for a children’s birthday?
    Be specific: “Would you be so kind as to help me tomorrow? Do you want to write the minutes of the project group? It takes me usually half an hour.”
  2. Don’t beat around the bush. Quickly get to the point.
    ** “Uh, I’m very sorry, but I hope I’m not disturbing, but could you take the meeting on Friday? “     There is nothing to apologize for.
    Say instead: “I’m meeting with the team on Friday. But I am prevented.  Could you please take the meeting for me?”
  3. Others cannot read your thoughts. Communicate clearly. Drop sarcasm. It annoys people, and it blurs your request.
    Replace “I thought pretty much that it’s obvious that I need help? You do have eyes in your head, right? ”
    -with: “I need help. Could I ask you help me with the evaluation here, please?”
  4. Say goodbye to the passive role.
    Stop the negative thoughts about yourself: “If I ask, they will believe that I am worthless.” “No one will help me, I have to do everything on my own.” You are important as a person;  take responsibility for your needs. As a valuable person You have the right to have wants and to come forward with them. And as an important valuable person in your own right, you can cope with a no, should that be the answer.
  5. You are much more than your wish for help.
    A no to your request is not a no to you as a person.
    Choose to be open, direct and give a choice to say yes or no:
    “I would like your input on this, is that OK with you?”
    “If you do not mind, I would like to trade places with you. Ok? ”
    Separate your self from your request. This helps: it gives the other person a choice of how to answer you.

If you get a yes, you can be happy. And if you get a no, then you can still be happy, because you overcame your fear of asking for what you want. Well done!

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