How do you make a request? Five Free tips to get heard. And a bonus tip.

Sometimes we find it hard to ask things of others; a simple request suddenly sticks in the throat.

How do you make requests?
➢ Do you make excuses?
➢ Are you bossing the other person around?
➢ Do you abstain and keep quiet?

These acts undermine yourself:
➢ When you ‘beat around the bush’, you signal to others that you are not important.
➢ By being bossy, you disrespect the other person.
➢ When you don’t make the request you want to, you lose energy because you have to hold yourself back.

You are an important person. 

Ask for want you need –- and learn to cope with a ‘no’.
You have the right to ask, and the other has the right to say yes or no.

Here are your five free tips on asking for what you want.

 1. Do your homework. What do you want – exactly?
Do not say: “You are so sweet, can you help me a little in the morning, I’m very busy, I have to write a report, and have three questions and I have a birthday party at 16, right?”
– What are you asking for? Help for a children’s birthday?
Be specific about what you want help with: “Would you be so kind as to help me tomorrow? Do you want to write the minutes of the project group? It takes me usually half an hour. ”

 2. Don’t beat around the bush. Quickly get to the point.
** “Uh, I’m very sorry, but I will therefore have to ask, I hope I’m not disturbing, but I, uh, uh, get you to take the meeting on Friday? “There is nothing to apologize for.
Say instead: “I’m meeting with the team on Friday. But I am prevented.  Could you please take the meeting for me? ”

3. Others cannot read your thoughts. Communicate clearly. This ties in with #1. Drop the sarcasm. It annoys people, and it blurs your request.
Replace “I thought pretty much that it’s obvious that I need help? You surely have eyes in your head, right? Can not you see the paper loads here? ”
-with: “I need help. Could I ask you help me with the evaluation here, please? ”

 4. Say goodbye to the victim role. Stop the negative thoughts about yourself:
“If I ask, they will believe that I am worthless.”
“No one will help me, I have to do everything on my own.”
You are important as a person; this means taking responsibility for your needs. You have the right to have wants and to come forward with them. And you can cope with a no to your request.

5. You are much more than your wish for help. A no to your request is not a no to you.
Choose to be open, direct and send a message of choice: “Can I borrow the book here, please?”
“I would like your input on this, is that OK with you?”
“If you do not mind, I would like to trade places with you. Ok? ”
Asking freely is to truly separate your self from your request. This helps you, because it gives the other person a real choice of how to answer you.
You can cope with a no since it is a no to the request, not to you as a person.

BONUS TIP: ** If you get a yes, you can be happy.
And if you get a no, then you can still be happy, because you overcame your fear of asking for what you want, and asked regardless.

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